What Santa Should (and Shouldn't) Mention in a Personal Message

A trust-first guide to getting the details right

The Uncanny Valley of Santa

You're watching your child open a personalised video message from Santa. His voice is warm. He says her name. He mentions she's seven years old.

Then he says something about how she's been "very good at school" and she should "keep being kind to her friends."

Your daughter's face doesn't change exactly, but something shifts. The spell flickers. She's still watching, but you can tell—a part of her is now analysing rather than believing.

What went wrong?

The message was almost personal. It used her name. It knew her age. But the details were the kind anyone could guess. Generic goodness. Vague kindness. The kind of thing a stranger might say to any child.

Personalised Santa messages live or die on specificity. The right details create wonder. The wrong ones—or too few—create suspicion. And some details should never be mentioned at all.

Understanding what to include and what to avoid is the difference between "How did Santa know that?" and "This feels weird."

The Psychology of Belief-Building Details

Children's belief in Santa operates on a simple internal logic: If Santa knows something he couldn't possibly know, then he must be magical.

This means the effectiveness of a personal message depends entirely on the quality of the details, not the quantity. One impossibly specific reference beats ten generic ones.

Developmental psychologists have identified what makes details land:

High-impact details:

Things only family would know
Recent events (within the last few weeks)
Specific names (teachers, pets, friends)
Unique identifiers (sports teams, hobbies, accomplishments)

Low-impact details:

Name and age (expected)
Generic praise ("you've been good")
Universal experiences ("I know you love Christmas")
Things that could apply to any child

Belief-damaging details:

Information that feels surveilling rather than magical
Anything that creates discomfort
References a child might not want Santa to know
Details that sound more like a database than a person

The goal is magical omniscience, not creepy surveillance. There's a fine line, and it's worth knowing where it falls.

What Santa Should Mention: The Specificity Checklist

Here's a practical framework for crafting (or ordering) a personalised message that lands:

Tier 1: Essential Personalisation

These create the baseline of believability:

Child's first name — Used naturally throughout, not just once
Age — Mentioned casually ("Now that you're seven...")
A recent accomplishment — Something from the last few months
A specific kind act — The more recent and specific, the better

Tier 2: Belief-Reinforcing Details

These create the "how did he know?" moment:

Teacher's name — "Mrs Patterson tells my elves you've been working hard on your handwriting"
Pet's name — "Give [pet's name] a pat from me"
Sibling's name — "I noticed how patient you've been with [sibling]"
Specific hobby or interest — "I hear you've been practising [instrument/sport/skill]"
Recent event — "That goal you scored last Saturday" or "Your nativity play costume was wonderful"

Tier 3: Deep Personalisation (Use Sparingly)

These create maximum impact but must be used carefully:

Inside jokes or family references — Only if they're unambiguously positive
A challenge they overcame — "I know this year was hard when [thing], but you handled it beautifully"
A specific Christmas wish — Reference what they asked for (whether or not they're getting it)

What Santa Should Never Mention

This is where parents and services sometimes get it wrong. Some details cross the line from magical to uncomfortable:

Never Reference:

Physical appearance or body Santa shouldn't comment on how a child looks, even positively. "I saw you've gotten so tall" might seem innocent, but children—especially older ones—can feel surveilled rather than seen.

Behaviour problems or discipline issues "I know you've had trouble listening to Mum lately" is not magical. It's guilt-inducing. Santa should build up, not call out.

Family difficulties Divorce, illness, bereavement, financial strain—none of these belong in a Santa message. Even if the intent is supportive, the effect is often jarring.

Wishes for things they're not getting If a child desperately wants a puppy and isn't getting one, Santa shouldn't dangle false hope. Keep gift references vague or stick to what's actually coming.

Anything that creates fear "I see you when you're sleeping" is a lyric, not a template. Santa should feel warm and watching, not omnipresent and monitoring.

Private information Medical details, therapy, learning differences, social struggles—these are private. Even loving references can feel exposing.

The Quick Test

Before including any detail, ask: Would my child feel delighted that Santa knows this, or uncomfortable?

If there's any doubt, leave it out.

A Word About Professional Messages

Some parents choose to use services that create personalised video messages from Santa. When done well, these can be remarkably effective—Santa speaking directly to your child, referencing their name, their year, their specific accomplishments.

The best services (like Santa's Whisper) understand the balance: they ask for the right details, avoid the wrong ones, and create messages that feel magical rather than manufactured.

If you're ordering a personalised message, look for services that:

Let you provide specific details (not just name and age)
Avoid templated generic praise
Create messages that feel warm and personal, not robotic
Understand what not to include

The Art of Magical Restraint

Here's the counterintuitive insight: less is often more.

A message that hits two or three impossibly specific details lands harder than one that rattles off ten generic ones. Children aren't counting references; they're feeling for authenticity.

The perfect Santa message makes a child pause and think, "Wait—how did he know about that?"

That pause is the magic. Everything else is decoration.

Whether you're writing a letter yourself, recording a voice message, or ordering a professional video, the principle is the same: specific beats generic, recent beats old, and wonder beats volume.

What will your child's "how did he know?" moment be this year?

What Santa Should Mention In Personal Message